Sexual Violence

You're Not Alone

In the event of sexual abuse, you are not to blame. Safe Haven takes the time to listen to your story because we believe you. We are on your side. Safe Haven is a member of the Ohio Alliance to End Sexual Violence and is considered a Rape Crisis Center in the State of Ohio.

We accept people of all ages and genders without judgement. If you are a member of the LGBTQI community and have experienced sexual violence or know someone who has, Safe Haven accepts you without question. 

Don’t feel like validation and power are out of reach. We want to help you get what you need, be it support or health care. Our services are free and we work at your pace. You’re a survivor. You need time to get stronger and heal.

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Do You Know Someone Who Has Been Impacted by Sexual Violence?

Opening up about sexual violence and abuse is not easy. This takes time. If you know someone who has been sexually assaulted, it’s important to stay calm and make sure the person knows he or she can trust you. 

Recognizing Sexual Abuse

Defining sexual abuse and violence can be confusing. You may have been experiencing this type of abuse for years and haven’t even known it. Your partner may lean towards one type of abuse over others. Be aware of this kind of behavior:

  • Unwanted touching or touching you against your will

  • Pressing you for sexual relations

  • Threatening consequences if you do not engage in sexual contact

  • Ignoring you after you say "no"

  • Posting nude photos/videos of you without your consent

  • Forcing you to relive past sexual experiences

Taking action after sexual abuse can save a life. Aside from the emotional trauma, there are also physical health issues to consider. If you or someone you know has experienced sexual violence, we encourage you to step forward, get medical attention immediately, and start your road to healing.

Being a victim of sexual assault is nothing to be ashamed of

Get to a safe place and call someone for help.

  1. Call or come in. Our office can be reached at 419-282-6097 or our 24/7 hotline at 419-289-8085.
  2. We can meet you somewhere. If you feel as though you cannot come to us, one of our trained advocates can meet at a neutral, safe place
  3. Next steps in this process can be scary. Our biggest priority is your health and safety. We’ll work with you to figure out what’s next.
  4. Get the support you need. We stand by you and can help you lead a healthier life as you get the care you need.

Talking to Your Kids About Sexual Assault

It can be stressful to plan a big safety talk about sexual assault with your kid. The good news is, you don’t have to. Conversations about sexual assault can be a part of the safety conversations you’re already having, like knowing when to speak up, how to take care of friends, and listening to your gut. The key is to start these conversations when your kids are young, and have these conversations often.

Start conversations about safety when your kids are young

Teach young children the language they need to talk about their bodies and information about boundaries to help them understand what is allowed and what is inappropriate. These lessons help them know when something isn’t right and give them the power to speak up.

  • Teach children the names of their body parts. When children have the words to describe their body parts, they may find it easier to ask questions and express concerns about those body parts.
  • Some parts of the body are private. Let children know that other people shouldn’t touch or look at them. If a healthcare professional has to examine these parts of the body, be present.
  • It’s OK to say “no.” It’s important to let children know they are allowed to say “no” to touches that make them uncomfortable. This message isn’t obvious to children, who are often taught to be obedient and follow the rules. Support your child if they say no, even if it puts you in an uncomfortable position. For example, if your child doesn't want to hug someone at a family gathering, respect their decision to say “no” to this contact.
  • Talk about secrets. Perpetrators will often use secret-keeping to manipulate children. Let children know they can always talk to you, especially if they’ve been told to keep a secret. If they see someone touching another child, they shouldn’t keep this secret, either. Learn more about protecting a child from sexual assault.

  • Reassure them that they won’t get in trouble. Young children often fear getting in trouble or upsetting their parents by asking questions or talking about their experiences. Be a safe place for your child to share information about things that they have questions about or that make them uncomfortable. Remind them they won’t be punished for sharing this information with you.

  • Show them what it looks like to do the right thing. It could be as simple as helping an elderly person get off a bus or picking up change that someone has dropped on the ground. When you model helping behavior it signals to your child that this is a normal, positive way to behave.
  • When they come to you, make time for them. If your kid comes to you with something they feel is important, take the time to listen. Give them your undivided attention, and let them know you take their concerns seriously. They may be more likely to come to you in the future if they know their voice will be heard.

Continue to engage teens in safety conversations

It’s important to create a dialogue about topics like safety and sexual assault with your teen. Consider these conversation starters to engage them in conversation.

  • Use the media to make it relevant. Ask your teen’s opinion on something happening on social media, in the news, in a new movie, or on a popular TV show. You could even watch an episode with them and ask follow up questions. Asking their opinion shows them that you value their point of view and opens up the door for more conversation.
  • Use your own experience to tell a safety story. Sharing your own experiences can make these conversations relevant and feel more real to teens. If you don’t have an experience you feel comfortable sharing, you can tell a story about someone you know.
  • Talk about caring for their friends — not just about their own behavior. Talking about how to be a good friend can be a powerful way of expressing to your teen that you trust them to do the right thing without sounding like you’re targeting their personal behavior. It also gives you the chance to communicate safety practices they may not otherwise be receptive to.
  • Talk about sexual assault directly. For some teens, safety issues like sexual assault aren’t on the radar. On the other hand, they may have misconceptions about sexual assault they’ve picked up from peers or the media. Bring up statistics that relate to them, such as the fact that 93 percent of victims who are minors know the perpetrator. Explain that no one “looks like a rapist,” and that eight out of 10 instances of sexual assault are committed by someone known to the victim.

To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org. For additional information on talking with your child about safety from sexual abuse, visit Darkness to Light.

Source: Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network (RAINN)

If You Suspect A Child Is Being Harmed

If you are concerned that a child is a victim of abuse, you may not be sure what to do or how to respond. Child sexual abuse is a crime that often goes undetected. No matter what your role is—parent or other family member, coach, teacher, religious leader, babysitter—you have the power to make a positive difference in this child’s life.

1. Recognize the signs

The signs of abuse aren’t always obvious, and learning the warning signs of child sexual abuse could be life saving. You might notice behavioral or physical changes that could signal a child is being abused. Some of these warning signs include:

  • Behavioral signs: Shrinking away from or seeming threatened by physical contact, regressive behaviors like thumb sucking, changing hygiene routines such as refusing to bathe or bathing excessively, age-inappropriate sexual behaviors, sleep disturbances, or nightmares
  • Physical signs: Bruising or swelling near the genital area, blood on sheets or undergarments, or broken bones
  • Verbal cues: Using words or phrases that are “too adult” for their age, unexplained silence, or suddenly being less talkative

2. Talk to the child

If you are concerned about abuse, talk to the child. Keep in mind a few guidelines to create a non-threatening environment where the child may be more likely to open up to you.

  • Pick your time and place carefully. Choose a space where the child is comfortable or ask them where they’d like to talk. Avoid talking in front of someone who may be causing the harm.
  • Be aware of your tone. If you start the conversation in a serious tone, you may scare the child, and they may be more likely to give you the answers they think you want to hear—rather than the truth. Try to make the conversation more casual. A non-threatening tone will help put the child at ease and ultimately provide you with more accurate information.
  • Talk to the child directly. Ask questions that use the child’s own vocabulary, but that are a little vague. For example, “Has someone been touching you?” In this context “touching” can mean different things, but it is likely a word the child is familiar with. The child can respond with questions or comments to help you better gauge the situation like, “No one touches me except my mom at bath time,” or “You mean like the way my cousin touches me sometimes?” Understand that sexual abuse can feel good to the child, so asking if someone is “hurting” them may not bring out the information that you are looking for.
  • Listen and follow up. Allow the child to talk freely. Wait for them to pause, and then follow up on points that made you feel concerned.
  • Avoid judgment and blame. Avoid placing blame by using “I” questions and statements. Rather than beginning your conversation by saying, “You said something that made me worry…” consider starting your conversation with the word “I.” For example: “I am concerned because I heard you say that you are not allowed to sleep in your bed by yourself.”
  • Reassure the child. Make sure that the child knows that they are not in trouble. Let them know you are simply asking questions because you are concerned about them.
  • Be patient. Remember that this conversation may be very frightening for the child. Many perpetrators make threats about what will happen if someone finds out about the abuse. They may tell a child that they will be put into foster care or threaten them or their loved ones with physical violence.

3. Report it

Reporting a crime like sexual abuse may not be easy, and it can be emotionally draining. Keep in mind that reporting abuse gives you the chance to protect someone who can’t protect themselves. Depending on where you live and your role in the child's life, you may be legally obligated to report suspicions of abuse. You can learn more about the laws in your state by visiting RAINN's State Law Database.

Before you report

  • Tell the child that you’re going to talk to someone who can help. Be clear that you are not asking their permission. 
The child may not want you to report and may be frightened, especially if the perpetrator has threatened them or their loved ones. Remember that by reporting, you are involving authorities who will be able to keep the child safe.
  • Ensure that the child is in a safe place. If you have concerns over the child’s safety, be sure to discuss them explicitly with authorities when you make the report. If you fear that the perpetrator will cause further harm to the child upon learning about the investigation, clearly communicate this to authorities.
  • If you are not concerned that the parents are causing harm, you can consult with them prior to making a report to authorities.
  • If you are a parent and are concerned that your partner or someone in your family may be hurting your child, this may be a very difficult time. It’s important to be there for your child, and it’s also important to take care of yourself. Learn more about being a parent to a child who has experienced sexual abuse and how to practice self-care.
  • Prepare your thoughts. You will likely be asked identifying information about the child, the nature of the abuse, and your relationship with the child. While anonymous tips are always an option, identified reporting increases the likelihood of prosecuting the perpetrator.

Where to report

  • If you know or suspect that a child has been sexually assaulted or abused you can report these crimes to the proper authorities, such as Child Protective Services. Reporting agencies vary from state to state. To see where to report to in your state, visit RAINN’s State Law Database.
  • Call or text the Childhelp National Abuse Hotline at 800.422.4453 to be connected with a trained volunteer. Childhelp Hotline crisis counselors can’t make the report for you, but they can walk you through the process and let you know what to expect.

After you report

  • You may not hear or see signs of an investigation right away. Depending on an agency’s policies and your relationship to the child, you may be able to call back to follow up after a few days.
  • If you are able to, continue to play the supportive role you always have in that child’s life. If making the report means that you can’t have this relationship anymore, know that by reporting you are helping that child stay safe.
  • Take care of yourself. Reporting sexual abuse isn’t easy. It’s important to practice self-care during this time.

Source: Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network