January is Stalking Awareness Month
January is Stalking Awareness Month — a time for spreading awareness and learning what stalking can really look like, and why it needs to be taken seriously.
Stalking is often misunderstood, minimized, or romanticized. Many people assume stalking is only dangerous when it involves extreme behavior or direct threats to safety. In reality, it often begins quietly and can feel confusing rather than threatening at first.
Stalking refers to repeated, unwanted attention that causes discomfort or concern for safety. It is frequently used as a way to gain or maintain access, attention, or control—especially after someone has tried to create distance or set boundaries. When these behaviors are framed as care or affection, they are more likely to be dismissed or overlooked.
What Stalking Can Look Like
Signs that may indicate immediate danger or common stalking behaviors:
- Following, waiting for, or showing up outside your home, work, school, or social spaces without invitation
- Making threats, intimidating you, or damaging property
- Tracking your location, monitoring your movements, or spying on you
- Persistent direct contact despite requests to stop
- Repeated unwanted gifts, messages, or calls
Boundary-crossing behaviors that are still stalking even if they feel “normal” or minimized:
- Repeated calls, texts, or messages after being asked to stop
- Showing up at places without invitation or expectation
- Trying to access your online accounts or tracking your activity
- Using apologies, gifts, or emotional pressure to regain contact
- Contacting friends, family, coworkers, or acquaintances for information
- Saying things like “I’m just worried about you” or “I’m only trying to help”
Even if someone says their intentions are good, unwanted behavior is still unwanted.
Romance vs. Danger
Many forms of media have normalized stalking by framing it as “romantic pursuit” rather than what it actually is: harmful, boundary-crossing behavior.
Romance is mutual. Stalking is one-sided.
Romance respects boundaries. Stalking ignores them.
If someone continues to contact you after you have said “no,” pulled away, or shown discomfort, that behavior is not romantic — it is concerning.
Why Stalking Can Be Dangerous
Stalking is not “harmless” or “just annoying.” It is dangerous, unpredictable, and often escalates over time. When boundaries are enforced, a person engaging in stalking may become more persistent, intrusive, or controlling in an attempt to regain access or power.
Stalking frequently co-occurs with other forms of harm, including emotional abuse, physical violence, threats to safety, and sexual violence. Research shows that among women stalked by a current or former intimate partner, about 81% were also physically assaulted and 31% were also sexually assaulted by that partner, highlighting how stalking often overlaps with other abusive or criminal behavior.
Why It Can Be Minimized or Doubted
Many people hesitate to label their experience as stalking, or to take it seriously. Common thoughts include:
- “I don’t want to overreact.”
- “They’re not dangerous.”
- “It feels dramatic to call it stalking.”
- “Maybe I’m misunderstanding.”
These doubts are common because stalking behaviors often hide behind confusion, mixed signals, and claims of good intentions. A person may use circumstances, emotion, or plausible explanations to obscure what they’re actually doing.
Feeling uncomfortable or unsafe is enough. You do not need certainty to trust your experience.
Safety Planning
If you’re concerned about stalking, here are steps that can help you protect yourself and document what’s happening:
- Keep a log of interactions and unwanted attention, including dates, times, and witnesses
- Record any damage, harm, or threatening behavior, with descriptions if possible
- Let your workplace or school know what’s going on and ask about their safety protocols
- Inform trusted friends and family so they can help you watch for patterns and avoid third-party communication
You do not have to navigate this on your own — planning and support make a difference.
Support Is Available
If something doesn’t feel right, you are allowed to take it seriously. You don’t need proof, certainty, or “the right words” to reach out for support.
During Stalking Awareness Month — and all year long — resources exist to help you talk through your experience, explore your options, and stay safe.
You deserve to feel respected, in control, and safe in your own life.
Safe Haven Hotline: 419-289-8085
Safe Haven Text Line: 419-517-2535
